There have been two days this week where I sat alone, a sad reminder of the fact that someone who I love being with was busy instead of with me on our usual date. Busy doing things that are good, homework and filling in a last minute need at the fire station. I am proud of my guy for being faithful with his school, something we are entrusted with as students as an opportunity to practice being good stewards. I am equally proud of the work that he does, reaching out to those who are hurting is a very admirable calling. So I am not posting this "lament" to say that I am sad because life got in the way of what I want, but to say that I am learning how to respond when it does.
Both times after hanging up the phone the realization that I wasn't going to get the time that I crave with him left me feeling...well...sad! I must admit, even if I seem like a "silly girl", that both times tears followed at some point during the day. But, my all too often discontent heart, is learning. Learning to give thanks for the time that I do get. Learning again and again of where the contentment that fills the depths of my soul needs to come from. Learning to rely on Christ as my foundation for my happiness is one of the greatest blessings that I can, I think, give to the guy I am courting. It allows me to not claim more than I should that "my needs" be met which could very likely drain the other person in the relationship in an effort to keep me happy. When I am solidly (which I am not always, as I said, and want to make clear, I am learning this!) grounded in and on Christ I am blessing those around me because my attitude will be one that is glorifying.
I know that this is a very off paraphrase of the verse, but today Paul's thoughts on contentment came to mind.
Both times after hanging up the phone the realization that I wasn't going to get the time that I crave with him left me feeling...well...sad! I must admit, even if I seem like a "silly girl", that both times tears followed at some point during the day. But, my all too often discontent heart, is learning. Learning to give thanks for the time that I do get. Learning again and again of where the contentment that fills the depths of my soul needs to come from. Learning to rely on Christ as my foundation for my happiness is one of the greatest blessings that I can, I think, give to the guy I am courting. It allows me to not claim more than I should that "my needs" be met which could very likely drain the other person in the relationship in an effort to keep me happy. When I am solidly (which I am not always, as I said, and want to make clear, I am learning this!) grounded in and on Christ I am blessing those around me because my attitude will be one that is glorifying.
I know that this is a very off paraphrase of the verse, but today Paul's thoughts on contentment came to mind.
I know what it is to be without my Wes, and how fun it is to be with him. I am learning the secret to being content in any and every situation, whether by his side or missing him, whether living with the knowledge that I will get to be with him or not. I can do everything through Him who gives me strength.
May I truly mean this and live it.
Philippians 4:12-13
"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. "
3 comments:
I have had to learn the same friend! Thanks for sharing.
oh sorry about this past weekend. Wes was also really really sad about not spending time. Its gotta be tough :( Thanks for the post.
Boy, does having a boyfriend in college ever teach you these lessons!! I'm so thankful for countless opportunities in the past year to learn to be content with a change of plans when it comes to dates. It's not fun, but it sure is growing. :)
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